They Say Men Are Simple Creatures, Yet Why Have They Made Me A Complicated Woman?

As far as I can remember and as far as we all have been told , they say,”Men are simple creatures.” Simple creatures with no complicated heads, with simple well defined DESIRES of mind and of body. I am writing this running the risk of being misunderstood but understanding is not my duty, its expressing. If any weak, faint fabric of a human is hurt then sorry but, no sorry.

So men ! Not all men but the men in general , the men that we have raised from little boys who were TOLD TO ENJOY hardcore raw , rough MANLY games. From the mud of the streets and fields their hands might have now moved to the touchscreen phones, fingers frantically tossing and tapping the X BOX games and hurling abuses thriving in utter denial of surroundings, getting all turned on by the violent porn, their phones a nest of nudity and yet their brains covered in tethered remains of the pungent smelling shreds of these thoughts and rotten ideas. Those men thinking of that girl at work making love to themselves and their hands. That’s simplicity? Is it?

A very cold relationship with my father has meant a constant quest to know what goes in a man’s head.  If a guy allowed me into the inner sanctum of their social circle I would feel a rush of triumph. That approval for me is comforting, all-consuming, highly addictive and, as it turns out, extremely dangerous.

All my life I have listened to how they talk about their women when they are with their friends

-“She wants to get married.”
-“I can’t come out tonight because her in-laws are coming over and she’ll give me hassle if I miss it.”
-“Look at that hot little thing over there, I’d bang that. Bet she fucks like a pro instead of the sack of potatoes I’ve been sticking my dick in for the last ten years.”
-“She wants kids.”
-“I can’t come to your stag party , she wants a new kitchen.”

I listened intently, noticing how they never referred to their partner by her name. I knew full well that it was how my father would refer to my mother despite my mother being nothing like the woman he would have them believe. Nevertheless I found myself resenting what females had done, the mess they had made. They had created an intolerable, generic mould that I couldn’t fit into and I was on a one-woman crusade to prove that we were not all the same.

While I don’t know how the man with whom I am in a relationship right now (I am wondering why didn’t I write the man whom I love) addresses me in his circles I do secretly wish that he proudly calls out my name… out of love and more importantly out of respect. Ii have loved before, broken before  recollected the pieces, learnt my lessons and moved on with no baggage and yet never gave up on love. Loved this man with utmost sincerity and intensity but somewhere deep down you know in those little things that you have finally decided to keep quite over that its just you alone walking the road.

Its just like loving a sponge who absorbs all that you can give him including your anger and tantrums but never reciprocate anything… neither the love that flows through souls and nor the tears , the anguish that exist in pain. Its like loving a corpse… A COLD CORPSE. Maybe or  maybe not its time to part ways for there are no words left to be said. With no mistakes of him or anyone, its probably his misfortune like everyone else’s …”To Fall In Love With The Right Woman… TheKind That Seeks More Than Money, Sex , Gifts And Cuddles”

maybe its the reality… things grow stale and so do relations. Or may be just maybe …

“The Men In My Life Have Complicated Me With Their Simplicity”

-Ambika (Athena)

I Had 12 Days Of Freedom With No Internet Access At SSB Bhopal

I Had 12 Days Of Freedom With No Internet Access At SSB Bhopal
-Ambika Bhan (Athena)
To begin with a paradox, that I am posting this article on WordPress (internet) and that I work for a company that is based wholly on the viral content floating the internet. So while 19 Nov 2015 came as the most important day of my life I never knew that it would reveal to me this magical experience.
As I had it, the still calmness of the military cantt was the first thing that took me over at ssb Bhopal more than that it was the zero contact to the chaotic city that left me spellbound. Nostalgia engulfed me as remembered my childhood in open spaces of Himachal and the long playful jogs through those terrains and fields. We were asked to submit our phones which was enough of a heartbreak for everybody. My sneaking away and not submitting it was aptly punished by the God .
I broke my phone accidentally.
So that was the end of my dear Microsoft Lumia.
Anyways as the days of Psych test , GTO, Interview proceeded I started realizing the absolute increase in my levels of focus towards the tests, towards making relationships with the people around me, towards becoming everyone’s favorite, making them laugh till they rolled on the floor, taking care of them. I purposely decided not to call my parents for all those 5 days. And the sense of freedom that it brought to me … no unending , piling email, no whats app beeps, no Facebook notifications… everything was so liberating.
I didn’t need to go to Himalyas to get a feel of heaven , to take sanyas .. I had my nirvana right there. And for the first time in so many years I discovered BOREDOM. Yes ! That feeling we had in those lazy Sunday afternoons when we were kids , or that feeling when in dark wintry nights electricity went off and we had nothing to do than sitting around the fire watching the sparkles rising and dancing to the puffs that our mother blew over it. Yes that exact BOREDOM.
So we were there in the barracks , with “Nothing To Do” and yes no arm length crutches like mobiles that even didn’t let us remember the meaning of being bored. And then like I had always been .. I went up and picked up that basketball. Played in that court, getting my hands all dirty and clothes all sweaty , and in running like some 7 year old around without a care in the world . And that’s when I knew whats freedom.
I knew what’s freedom when I met my childhood version there.. dancing in madness in rooms, playing pranks on everyone. I got scolded from almost everyone at the centre from the GTO to the mess wale bhaiyya , the phone operator and the gatesman but I took home a crazy me, a reclaimed me and yes …
A YES FROM THE INDIAN ARMY SAYING … “YOU HAVE IT IN YOU”.
The day of the conference was one hell eventful. Recommended for the Indian Army I was and that meant another week or so of staying in the cantt for a detailed medical examination. On the coinsistent pleads of my parents to whom I broke the good news I bought a phone for 900 bucks, which I now lovingly call ‘my dbba phone’. It somehow did bring a smile to my face thinking that maybe I will land up in Officers Training Academy as it felt like an intuition to get rid of the habit of smartphones.
At the end of those 12 days here I am and I tell you I checked on to my Facebook and was overwhelmed with 250+ notifications, 60+ messages and 55+ friend requests. Partly due to this absence and partly of all the congratulatory messages that pored in. Here I am back in this maddenning crowd and I am hating every bit of it and so badly I wanna return to that aura again.
All I wanna say is Shut It Out Guys … Get Bored … Get Innovative … Get Healthy
p.s- Counting days to go to ssb Allahabad
P.p.s- I didn’t get my phone repaired and neither bought a new one
‪#‎IndiaArmy‬
‪#‎SSBBhopal‬
‪#‎Nostalgia‬

Selfless Creators

I love those content smiling blissful faces ,
A soldier’s fight to serve a nation that may not even thank him,
A musician’s play with his music unmindful of who hears or not,
A painter’s imagination painted in colors oblivious to the eyes who may or may not see beauty in it ,
A writer’s bleeding pen which pours over paper and dances with his heartbeats irrespective of who reads it and who doesn’t,
A dancer’s moving limbs spreading grace and energy unmindful of flaws and techniques ,

And the whole sham world which categorizes, classifies , quantifies and qualifies their art may as well go to a laboratory and trust me … trust me !
Even there they shall not find shrewd quantities and degrees , neither the unmindful boasting ,
JUST PURE UNADULTERATED FREE FLOWING HUMAN GENIUS SEEKING NO AWARDS
‪#‎Athena‬
p.s -You know what is purpose and humility ?
When an artist derives bliss by just playing his instrument or drawing a painting and the accolades that come along are never ever important and neither do they seek it .

“Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana,

Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani”

Will The Modi Magic Work In US ? Agenda And Expectations

.Much has been said and done in the intellectual circles pertaining to the Indo – US relations. After the onset of the new government and the rise of Mr.Modi as the face of India the Indo-US relations have seen a major, if not a drastic shift. The presence of a strong leadership at the center definitely has improved the bargaining capacity of India and made it  a major stakeholder in the global arena

So what are the agendas and expectations that come with this visit to US? For the record the first Modi-Obama visit was more so a state visit unlike this, which is a work on progress.

The main agenda that stems up from this visit is the increase of bilateral trade with us up to 5 times .Also keeping in mind that the US is the buyer of Indian services and we have a trade surplus with the US , that can be furthur  enhanced to strengthen ties and to improve upon the bargaining capacity of India

Gauging the historical ties one may find that the 1992 leap of the Indian economy and the LPG reforms were possible only because of the US. As in the case of India there has been The backward penetration of the IT sector. The opening up of the markets in 1992 led to India making the IT services for the US which resulted into IT penetration into India as well. So IT as always will be the strategic sector driving Indo-US cooperation.

India is the rising star in the global economy and a major investment destination to many MNCs . Modi’s silicon valley visit is expected to boost the campaign of digital India back home. As the land of start ups and the cradle of technology in the world it can reap many benefits to the Digital India programme. From pitching in new ideas and innovations to attracting investment , modi’s visit to the silicon is a big step towards digitization . Also he may bank upon the growing Indian diaspora in the valley.

It is high time that India looks beyond IT sector and becomes an effective exporter of goods to US . Also since US is so keen on selling arms to India it has formed a country specific arms cell for India in the pentagon. India must effectively utilize this option to not just purchase arms but also to develop its own capacity building into making of arms and ammunition.

What Mr. Modi should aim at is a defense trade and technology initiative.

Mr. Modi’s visit to Tesla is another important facet which clearly shows the agenda of embarking on new horizons in the field of Renewable energy . Tesla has been achieving new breakthroughs in the field of solar energy , especially the making of solar batteries . This is a wonderful opportunity to drive home the technology which will become useful for the smart city initiative.

The Indo- US start up summit is also expected to give a huge boost to the Indian entrepreneurs to get global investment and recognition and also exposure on such a huge scale. But the Indian government would have to keep in mind the ease of doing business index which ranks India fairly low. The trust deficit faced by the investors has to be checked and reduced by removal of policy paralysis and steps towards single window clearances etc.

The whole plethora of indo -us relations has been a package of security, economy and environment and amidst all this the grappling question that Mr. Modi has to deal with is that what would it take him to pitch in US for the permanent UNSC seat to India ?

The cards are on the table and overall its  a positive outcome that is expected to come out of this strategic visit. The only winning point remains is India’s bid to a permanent UNSC seat and that too with a VETO! 

Feminine Fury

In the shine of the stones she finds her reflection,
 In the tinkling of bangles she hears her voice ,
 In the subtle grace these bangles carry ,
 She lets it awaken ... Her feminine fury ! ❤

WRITERS SHARE MADNESS

 “How can I tell them I LIKE being high?
Being high on these euphoric bouts of stimulated thoughts
being high on arguments with a loved one…high on the words of wisdom and the stale fragrance of old pages …
And I feel dull when asked to conform to protocols… to norms … and to the rut of career and life… I feel robbed of my creativity. I feel robbed of who I am, or rather who I was”

Writers should never marry; writers should live alone, exist alone. It is absolutely insane to sit and talk to people who are not there. It is absolutely insane to sit alone and slave over words, try to articulate existence to an unseen audience. Only crazy, solitary people talk to people who are not there. And isn’t it fine to not destroy others with your madness?

I AM INFINITE

If u name me, you negate me . If u put a label , a tag on me you possibly negate all the infinite things I may be capable of doing . And such firm is my belief in my infinity that even the name I posses sounds absolutely redundant .
‪#‎Athena‬

Why India Deserves The Permanent Membership Of UNSC?

UNSC is one of the highest decision making body over peace and security of a region. Originally it had 4 permanent members later china was included in 1963. Since then no reform has taken place. The UN General Assembly on Monday adopted a negotiating text by consensus for the long-pending Security Council reforms, setting the stage for talks on the issue at its 70th session beginning Tuesday, boosting India’s bid for a permanent seat in the revamped world body.

The question arises, why the reforms needed?

1.Geo-politics have gone a sea-change
2. Over 2.5 billion population has increased
3. Increasing threats from extremist groups
4. ARBITRARY utilization of power such as the US invasion of Iraq without UNSC’s authorization etc
5. Political bias over highly disturbed regions

Presently the 5 permanent members are all developed nations and consequently it has been seen that the interests of the developing countries are often undermined be it nuclear issues or climate change. India being a land off different communities and cultures would be able to project their view in growing discrimination over the world over various issues.

India’s support in the peace keeping mission has much more significance as compared to other member which shows willingness to create a peaceful environment in the world . In fact India’s peace keeping forces are more than those combined of the 5 permanent members.

India itself is facing territorial and border disputes with neighboring countries , a permanent position will further help to resolve this issue. The major opposition with respect to the grant of permanent membership is coming from China and Pakistan. Its imperative that the rising hegemony of China in the Asian subcontinent is checked or else there’s every possibility that we might head to a 3rd world war or even a cold war for that matter. Also the growing relations between china and Pakistan are not good for the overall world peace.

One of the largest and young democracy India has set an example as to the smooth and non violent transition of power into the hands of people. And the way it has been carrying out the processes and institutions of this democracy is commendable and shows India’s rise as a very capable and mature state.Apart from being the 3rd largest economy which has till now successfully withstood the global economic depression India also has the 3rd largest standing ARMY and is a Nuclear power state.And lastly India has made a mark for itself in the field of space technology , achieved a feat that was up till now the reserved domain of the P5.

Despite all this , if the US and China think that they shall hold India back from the UNSC it shows their insecurity and ill intentions to hold the power and misuse it as they have been doing till date. My India is a star and it shall shine the brightest as always . US n China or any despot for that matter can go to hell.
JAI HIND . JAI BHARAT.

The Debate That Is Shaking India – Who Are We Fighting In Our Battle Against Sexual Violence?

To begin with let me draw your attention to Sunitha Krishnan, the activist leading the #ShameTheRapist campaign, filmmaker Leslee Udwin (“India’s Daughter”) and journalist and editor Barkha Dutt, discuss the politics of shame and stigma in India during the Women in the World summit in New York City. While the internet and media is all gaga about the fierce response that Barkhaa dutt gave to the anchor of the show defending her country and the so called western propaganda associated with shaming India as the land of rapists , it was much more than that that grabbed my attention.

1. Hearing Leslie Udwin all through the debate I could feel the goosebumps that I got from the conviction that i saw in her eyes. The conviction towards a cause that was so dear to not just an Indian or american but to each n every citizen. I was  awed by the humility and the attitude by which she out-rightly refused to be called as a British, claiming to be a global citizen. Well in this era of technology aren’t we all global citizens as well?
2. I guess we Indian’s can never get away from that mental sickness of ” LOG KYA KAHENGE”. What the intent of creating that video was not shaming India . The video was to shame ALL THE RAPISTS. The video was to shame the sick justifications that we , our families , our ministers give to justify the causes of rape.
3. I would even go to the extent of treating that documentary as a tribute to all those hundreds of men and women who flocked the roads, braved the atrocities and sent a loud clear message to this world that ITS NO LONGER THE INDIA OF SATI AND DRAUPADI ITS THE INDIA OF DREAMS , HOPES AND CHANGE. Have you ever seen a protest of such scale in a UK or USA ? How come you didn’t see that those people protested because in India we still respect our women and that we as young men and women are brave, very brave to rise above everything and even slap our own skewed traditions or mindsets that bring us this shame? The world must have been proud of India .
4. During that one month every Indian on the street ,was not fighting for Nirbhaya or for the Indian women, but the woman of the world. They fought for the divine feminine.
5. We are not talking about America or India, we are talking about the garbage that we feed into the minds of our children boys and girls. The rapist’s response was reflective of that. Of course we know that was what it was supposed to be , but tell me truly haven’t you heard the same exact lines spoken by your fathers and brothers about not going out after dark, about not dressing up in a particular way. Haven’t you seen how all the movies bollywood/hollywood potray a well groomed , well behaved woman getting the love of her life and someone like Veronica (Deepika padukone) of cocktail left loveless.So its we who have taught a thinking like that.
6. Coming to Barkhaa, she was equally good in clearing the air about India’s image that has been portrayed to the world and I really appreciate her for that , for highlighting the intrinsic values that the modern India holds and attaches to womanhood. I personally feel that the west does no good in terms of equality of woman. Be it Hollywood or anything else for that matter what is this obsession over the parameters of beauty that they set for a woman. why can’t the accept that being a nerd is okay? Why has the monster of capitalism grappled them to an extent that they are completely blind to the other necessities of humans?Why don’t you look at the India where now parents put their everything at stake to educate their daughter, give her her dreams ? Do you see that in america ? I am proud to belong to a country where  families would go extra mile in the face of a crisis to cushion the person.Where they would sell of their own luxuries to see their children become doctors and engineers.
7. The comments of the lawyers were enough to infuriate anyone. We might not accept but deep down we all know how many times have we heard these remarks from our near and dear ones. Sometimes it takes a bomb to make the deaf hear and shock to make the world respond!
8. Lastly what one sees is the solidarity and oneness with which these two women stood with each other. Beyond boundaries united for womanhood and with a hope that world needs to be united against a change.

We fight against the devil of our own creation . We fight against the devil in us.

-Athena

WHY I LOVE MY SCARS - MY REFUSAL TO MOVE ON?

Since the time I have known why a man is a man and a woman a woman and that’s practically never , I have been told, we all have been told to forget the past and move on. From the bad scores at school where your mom used to say,”No worries beta, forget it and next time do well” to the screwed relationship we have had , where even if you are not suffering from the breakup syndrome any Tom, Dick and Harry would pat your back saying,”leave it man, bhool jaa and MOVE ON”. Its the same story everywhere all the time. 

Since the time I was a kid I had this amazing fascination with wounds. Not that I was a sadist but somehow they made me feel brave and proud. A brawl there, a fight here, a scratch there and stitch here … It all hurt so bad and the blood was horrible but the scars … Oh the scars ! How much I loved them! Its weird but its me. Subtle, vivid reminders of the pain that I had felt but more importantly ENDURED and SURVIVED. Reminders of the putting up a fight even in situations where I had a chance to escape. Reminders of holding on… of hanging on … of not leaving the ground even when it was ruthless and brutal to me. 

Its still the same. I still see the scars on my body with the same delight and awe. I still love them. I still treasure them. And my fascination with scars has only grown… from my body to my heart , to my mind , to soul. I have had my heart wounded and battered since the time didn’t even know that we have a heart. From my near ones to my elders they made sure it turned dark, trampled and fearful. From the first man that I looked upto and the first man that I fell in love with the nature, the circumstances, the destiny made sure that I was betrayed all the time, that I was crushed and humiliated further and that I would have a past that would want me to hide that part of my life in a closed suitcase. But I choose to differ from the expected consequences of the circumstances and events. So I choose to keep my wounds fresh, exposed and not hidden in the bandage of ignorance and oblivion.I choose not to forget them because they are my gems of wisdom that have made me wise. My tests that have nurtured my intellect and built my character. My lessons that have been bestowed by the guru called life and I don’t forget my lessons.

I choose this because I have never seen a lion cover his wounds. They are there… open, unkempt , exposed , vulnerable … and yet the nature heals them in its own ways , by its own magic and LEAVES BEHIND THE SCAR. So to all those who think that I am exposed because they saw my wounds, that i am weak because I bleed , that I am defeated because you injured me … sorry to say but I will have a proof of my bravery once these wounds heal … MY SCAR … and what shall you have to prove your oppression and power ??? NOTHING 

And yet I am not writing this for myself. This is for every heart that has been broken, every soul that has been burnt, every eye that has shed a million tears . My pain may be nothing as compared to yours , but my words are as as true as you all would want me to be. Don’t move on ! Don’t forget what happened , don’t throw away that memory of that heartache, that betrayal that exploitation away. Dive right into that sea . Find your pearls of wisdom and then treasure them forever.

Don’t hide your wounds, don’t be ashamed of the wrongs that happened to you, neither of the mistakes you did , nor of the times you were hit… Let the wounds lay open , let the nature work its magic and LET YOUR SCARS SHINE !!!

-Athena/Ambika

Why Losing My Path Has Given Me A Strange Freedom?

Discipline,focus,a clear cut path and a strategy ... how many times have we heard this as a perfect recipe for success. How many times have we been told not to walk a path that shows no light, that not just to do things aimlessly without thinking of consequences. Not everyone is a genius , not everyone always knows what they want in life,not everyone wants to be Mother Teresa or Abdul Kalam. Well, accept it , majority of us don't know until a ripe old age what we wanna do in life.

Firstly who decides the parameters of success? The parents, the society that has a shared value and everyone is expected to adhere to that, the luxuries that are proclaimed to be achieved as a result of monetary assets or what we perceive to be success.

An IITian leaving a hotshot job and turning to photography or music is a success story, an inspirational one but an illiterate person doing the same is a struggler or even a fool. Who decides?

Who says that you need to study a subject in the college and marry it for the rest of your lives? Study law, become a lawyer. Study engineering, become an engineer. And its not that coercion from the society, what amuses me is the intensity with which things have been imprinted onto our minds that if we take a career shift, we feel guilty about doing it.We feel ostracized , so scared as to what will happen if we are not accepted by people who just don't care about what we do except for our bank balance.

I graduated as a lawyer but I love to write. In my entire school life and my five years at the law school I have thought a lot about what I want to do, panicked a lot about not having a secure career, freaked out a lot about not graduating from a top notch college, had sleepless nights about not having that PERFECT JOB PROFILE. Despite the fact that I knew that I was far ahead of my peers in the matters of the mind and heart(not bragging but one knows his/her capabilities), despite always receiving subtle omens, reminders and compliments from everyone around me all saying the same 'you are different',I panicked not for my destination but for creating a path for the same. 

Money, status, prestige, impressions all these factors were my considerations to choose what I wanted to do. When people were enjoying I was studying frantically for an exam I didn't plan to appear for the next 2 years. Yeah! That was me...Mad!

But all through this i knew as i have always known I am meant to do something great in this world, leave a legacy, enter the hall of fame... but most importantly this greatness, this legacy shall not be for anyone else other than my own self, my soul... that's whom I am responsible for. How can i be a good friend, a good daughter, a lover, a sister , a good wife and a good mother when I can't love myself enough, respect the glory of my existence and the purpose of my birth.

And I am glad I freed myself. I closed my eyes , wiped all traces of the paths I had created for a destination I didn't know, placed my hand on my heart and just spoke to the inner me LET THE MAGIC BEGIN! And boy! was i amazed???? I was baffled at the mysterious ways in which the universe functions and the tremendous freedom that it gave me. I finished my law, deliberately flunked my LLM entrance examination because my voice said its not what I want to do now. I took up a job in an altogether new city with no one I knew and I was pleasantly surprised at how conditions started turning favorable towards me. My mom stood by me.

The one thing I promised myself was I WILL NEVER SET ANOTHER GOAL IN MY LIFE except one - LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN AND BREAK ALL MY COMFORT ZONE. That has become my new mantra.

And so I am free. I am writing at a place I love at this point of time in my life. It sets me free, trains me to get disciplined to be able to write each day , something I shall be needing to be a good writer. Practically everyone is telling me not to opt for army as a future career but I want to do it to break my comfort zone and to learn and just to answer a simple question. Do I have it in me?? Don't forget that exam I was to take up two years later. I wake up at 6 each day and manage to churn out 5 Hours a day to study for that and I don't regret a single moment I spent studying for it. It makes me a wiser and informed person whether or not I clear the exam. 

This is amazing, this is beautiful, the freedom that it gives my mind to learn without the pressure of a goal and be able to enjoy the journey called life ... the rest are just milestones that come in between. Taking one at a time

Along the woods I walked,

Into paths long known ,

The trodden ways, the fixed destination 

was all so dusty all so rotten,

And i glanced upwards to see the little birds that flew ,

Little they were but with dreams that were new ,

Dreams that were simple yet so difficult,

Dreams to be free, to think free ,

To live free, to die free,

And off they soared onto the paths that blurred,

I took off my shoes ,

My feet kissing the morning dew ,

And in no path lies my freedom that's all i knew

Why India And Bharat Are Two Different Countries

I live in a land where not just in terms of wealth but also in terms of mindsets and intellects we have a huge gap. I choose to call this concept as CULTURAL LAG. So basically we are two different countries residing on this same piece of land India And Bharat.

One the one hand we have this ironical scenario where the wealth gap between the rich and the poor is so wide that you can almost find a skimpily clad girl stepping out of a Lamborghini and at the same place a skimpily clad man with just a bony skeleton and an empty plate.

What is more intriguing is the fact that how superficial have we become in our thinking. For God's sake where is the this country's intelligentsia? I search them because they need to give some lessons of basic common sense to these celebrities and hotshot people just like the RBI chose to give to the businesses.

There is a thing called as the corporate social responsibility whereby for each business house it is mandatory to put some amount of their profits into welfare of the common public. Indeed a wonderful concept! Like turning the tide of capitalism towards socialistic shores. Similarly what the intelligentsia needs to is to infest the influential people especially celebrities with the idea that you owe something to the social fabric of this country and that something is not money ... It is ETHICS AND DECENCY.

In India people know that a girl wearing a short skirt is not a big deal but sorry to say in Bharat, a guy with that narrow a mindset doesn't think so and it has nothing to do with the person. There are a plenty of reasons majority of them being sociological for such a phenomena. Shared values of a community, the personality, the individual's environment and on top of that education and the proximity one has had towards his/her family to name a few.

While I would love to go into the details of each but for now what is pertinent to mention is that WE ARE NOT AMERICA. We don't have a 100%literacy rate. We don't have a 24/7 exposure to and availability of internet all over our country. We don't have libraries in all nooks and corners of our cities , leave alone villages. Screw that! We don't even have schools for all.

So to all the celebrities, godmen and other perpetrators of culture in this country... What are you thinking when you make item numbers.What are you thinking when you deliver sermons that this world is transient and you need to focus on the other world. 
Do you have any idea what a laymen with not so developed cognitive skills to distinguish between these hi-fi philosophies would do? No, don't think he would ignore you. Oh! he idolizes you Mr.Baba . He will just stop working, just stop fending his wife and children , take that bloody SANYASA and say that this world is transient.And that would just create a GOOD FOR NOTHING POPULATION.

And equally amusing is the Bollywood, the news more so the entire media industry of ours. On one hand we have a newspaper with the level of the Hindu and Indian express and on the other hand we have news channels like IBN 7 that show everything apart from the news. I personally beleive the most misused article of the Indian constitution is the Art 19 Freedom To Speech. While we as a democracy boast of giving the freedom of expression and speech to every citizen, we fail to realize that with rights come equal responsibilities and duties not to take advantage of them. 

So, while people like Honey Singh do have the freedom of speech and expression, they need to realize that what they make and produce is not just theirs but belongs to people as well. With such a huge fan following and the realization that whatever you say n make will be blindly followed and idolized by people who don't have the intellectual capacity to just ignore and chuck it off as mere entertainment. When you commodify and objectify women, when you  proclaim that,"han mein alcoholic hu", do you even realize that a 7 year old chap chants your songs like mantra and thinks its just cool to be what you show you are. 

A young college graduate from a top notch college has the wisdom to judge and understand what is meant and what should be just taken as joke but a person of the same age residing in a village, who may or may not have any access to education, who may or may not have ever spoken to girls and woman in a normal fashion, who has never ever been exposed to the basic ideals of liberty, equality, justice nad rationality that our constitution stands upon,who still thinks and believes that a man and woman are not the same thanks to the cultural lag this country has and the low levels of education what message do you think is passed on to him. And then we have the same people who think its cool and okay to assault a girl wearing short clothes because a girl's character is directly proportional to the length of her clothes. 

So if you think Eminem abusing in his videos is bad. Well its not bad for America when 100% of America is modernized and educated and also because Eminem doesn't write for India and Afghanistan and also because almost half of India doesn't listen to Eminem but 99% of India listens to idiotic Bollywood item songs and plays them in all stupid wedding celebrations.

On that note , all I wanna say is please beware of what you are feeding this country and its people. Its not just the politics that is marred by this 'chalta hai' attitude , its not about corruption in economic spheres, its also about corrupting one's mind . So please don't go by things ... don't sell them because market mein yhi chalta hai... wo chalta hai kyunki wo bikta hai.

- Athena 

For the pledge I have been taken for the 15 years of my school life each morning

"To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion.In their well being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness"

HOW MY BOYFRIEND'S EX BECAME MY GOOD FRIEND

Sounds weird?? But it did happen to me. For one reason that I am essentially not a judgmental person. It all started with... of course a Facebook friend request but before that let me mention that my boyfriend had spoken to her about me and her reply was,"are you sure about her? If yes, then please don't her." 

So now why wouldn't I look past the ex tag and see the wonderful lady that she must have been. So moving from facebook to whatsapp was a gradual step and thus began a teeny weeny exchanges of words and greetings, with an occasional compliment or two.  

Somehow I realized that I shared with this lady much more than phone numbers. I shared with her during different epochs of time, the man I was with. She knew him as closely as I know and that makes it all the more unique as this is something no one can categorize and qualify into a certain relationship.

And it so happened that on all the instances when I had problems with the Man she was the first one to come to me with a genuine and considerate helpful hand and advice. Of course she could do it better than anyone else as the beast that we sought to tame was ONE. It was more like roaming through the great school of Hogwarts holding an old friend's hand and searching new pathways and juggling through the drifting staircases.

So why she became his ex was a question that would so naturally cross my mind. Whose fault was it? Why did it happen? Whatever the answer , the one thing I knew was that the glass through which we both had seen the Man was the same. The same set of positive qualities coupled with the same set equally annoying negative qualities...it all stood stark naked ... the Vetruvian Man with all his virtues and vices. 

Amidst all this I found a good friend, a confidant, a lady with a genuine and wise outlook towards life... a partner in wisdom.Its just a matter of your patience and how efficiently you can ignore the otherwise so obvious vices. She chose to walk away because HE WAS NOT WORTH IT.

I, if ever choose to walk away, its obviously because HE WAS NOT WORTH IT.

I am yet to meet her but trust me I admire her for showing such maturity and integrity when it comes to dealing with people. I admire her for the amazing way in which she gave me reasons not to give up on my relationship. I admire her for being so upright and honest about what is right and what is wrong and even to the extent of telling me that no doubt you should love with all your heart but you should equally respect yourself and value your future if the guy isn't worth it.

Because for once I know it well that she wasn't the one to give up and neither am I. But somehow , may be sometimes IT IS WISE TO GIVE UP ON THE WRONG PERSON AT THE RIGHT TIME. 

- Athena 

THE REAL FAMILY

A writer's late night desk 
-athena
The radiant skin , the shining eyes , the wide smile , the rushing tears ... Nothing shall remain ,
And neither shall our ego, our status our bountiful health...
But one thing shall always haunt ... Shall always linger , like a ghost , like the shadow of your old self ...
One thing !
Losing the one who loved you with all their heart and soul ,
Losing those eyes that waited for a single glimpse ,
Losing those hands that prayed for your happiness,
Losing that heart whose only happiness was to see you happy,
One regret shall we all have ...
When one day we stand at the afternoon n evening of our lives finding that noone really bothers , none really cares as they did and yet in the haughty arrogance of our youth , in the glittery world of the city lights , in the dripping drinks and the rising highs ,
In the puffs of smoke and the euphoria generated,
We forgot to treasure that hand which held us without a single word ,
We forgot to wipe tears from the eyes that cried for us ,
We forgot to lift the soul that bent down to support us,
We forgot to protect the love that was pure ...
And in that moment shall we realise that not just have we been fools but cowards ...
Because
'Everyone finds love , but only the brave know how to treasure it '
© Athena
P.s - Leave your home, go live alone and you will know who is your family and who isn't.

Breaking Your Comfort zone - First Impressions Of An Independent Life At 23

 

Breaking Your Comfort zone - First Impressions Of An Independent Life At 23

-Athena
I moved to Delhi two weeks back and its a plethora of crazy emotions. Its not just for work that i have made this move , its for one simple and yet important reason - BREAKING MY COMFORT ZONE. 23 years of living under the protected arms of my mother it was imperative for me let it go because as they say,"life begins at the end of your comfort zone".
So while I won't proclaim to be strong or completely numb to the fact that as much as it was simple on the outside it was equally challenging on the inside. For someone like me who micro analyzes every small thing that runs in her mind it can be pretty daunting to move out of one's comfort zone when millions thoughts run across. Thoughts of missing your loved ones, of having no friend, of having to learn the ways of big cities and of sheer anonymity.

Every night for the first few days was a saga of ramblings and rantings to go back home, with a million excuses for myself and each morning is a wake up call with a single statement - BREAK YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND LEARN TO SURVIVE
So from beating that odd feeling of seeing a lock upon the door when you arrive from work to maintaining that expressionless face while you travel in a metro , from getting used to no one waking you up to getting your own breakfast (which is always so dry without the special love of mom) its all those tiny little things in between that make you think ,"If you do what you always did, you'll get what you have always got'.

And along the lane i stepped on some pebbles and spotted some gems. I picked them both. Gems as the proof that I have the spark in me and that the spark shines. The pebbles as subtle reminders that there are lessons that need to be learnt the hard way.
Each day is a new story with a million new faces that feel all the same and what amuses me is the thought that why do people here move like zombies going on a death trial. :) Some sleeping, some sleep walking but all having one thing in common... the 'LIFE IS A RACE SYNDROME '

The journey has just begun and all i know is,
                           My steps may falter,
                           My knees may get bruised,
                           I may lose my way,
                           I may lose my destination,
                           But i won't lose myself and neither my words
- Athena

NO WILL TO DO ANYTHING SYNDROME {NWTDA}

NO WILL TO DO ANYTHING ! 
Yeah , this syndrome ! Well really its a culmination of two three diseases . One , the exams are over . Second, you are awaiting results . Third , your student life is over . you are finally a law graduate . Fourth , you are hoping to get a job and make an independent living while your dad is all freaked out because of old societal dogmas and a logic that i will run away with someone . Oh god ... seriously !! cant i run away from Jammu itself . Anyways once a jerk always a jerk ( dont judge me with a moral disease okkk!!!)

And lastly when you are writer , you know what a writer's block is . well , my mind is totally blank . No idea ... nothing at all . 

So the post student life as many purport should be fun and mostly catching up on the things that you always wanted to do . well then thats what i am doing . SLEEEPINGGGGG..... 

Well yeah apart from sleeping and just reading some stuff i have virtually shut my eyes n ears on anything thats happening in the outside world . pretty difficult for me to beleive in given the fact that that i am a news maniac . 
He is away so more n more added peaks of idiotic frustration , though i am really surprised as to from where did this patience and sensibility enter my head . May be just the perks of being an army girlfriend . ya ya ... be strong ! thats how the mantra goes . Well then i have never been this strong and mature before . Its been terrible five days since the last call .... thanks to poor network and Indian army but koi na ... HUM BHI HAIN JOSH MEIN !!!! 
Reverting back to the primitive means of communication ... letter writing . yeah ... see told ya ... ITS PRIMITIVE !!!! 

Anyways ... hoping to get the job , moving to delhi soon and .... READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD ALL BY MYSELF ... WITH SLEEPY DREAMY EYES AND A BIG WIDEEEEEEE SMILEEEEEE !!!!!!

DILEMMA

Good morning.. People of the earth ....

No poetry no prose .... I am here with just a confession of a human who is not scared to be scared . Who finds it utterly difficult to claim with boastful confidence that ,"I ain't scared of anything". 

I have dilemmas , fears , incompetences ... We all have them . 
Isn't it like some points of time in our lives we feel too weak n timid . Its not about the fear of not being able to do things ... Its the confusion of not knowing in the first place about what you can and what you can't do .

You have lived in a comfortable cocoon of your own and though you so desperately want to shake off n break free from the trap .... A tiny lil part of you pulls you back ... Coaxing ...yes I think coaxing you into a thought that its all warm n safe here ... The outside world is bad and harsh and cruel and a lot of other creepy things that you have been told ....
That lil teeny weeny pricky thought tells you that you have lived 22 years of your life in a particular way ...u should be mad to even think that you can do things that are challenging , tough and far beyond your comfort zone ....
And amidst all your hi fi talks n preachings u look at this tiny thought ... That rascal gives you a devilish smile ... Knowing that he has got your nerve ....

And you land up in a dilemma ... A pool of weakness and under confidence ... Trying to justify it by your so called rationality and practicality ....

That you don't know whether you will be able to face challenges ... Be itphysicsl or mental ...
Wether you will be able to hold your head up high despite innumerable insults you would receive ...
Wether you will b able to put up courage despite being thrashed and beaten every time ...
Wether you will be able to hold back tears in the tough times of pain and suffering...
Wether you will emerge glorious...

Your mind says ...don't be stupid ...just let it go ....
But your wretched heart says ," how can you back off ...you hv just one life ...how cn u not test yourself... How can you let go of an experience no matter bad or good ... How can u spend the rest of your life in regret of not doing a thing just coz you were too scared to do it ".

And the saga continues n so does my dilemma
But somewhere I realise that its our own battle ...EACH ONE OF US ... N noone can help us but ourselves ....
I don't know the answer ....
But I think for now its best to just sit back n work n let the things unfold themselves ...

#Athena
#dilemma

CHANGING SPECTRUM OF HOME

CHANGING SPECTRUMS OF HOME
-ATHENA

A step taken from there , a step put here,

a feeling of leaving things , a feeling of seeking experiences

few days when i missed my strings back home , now the coming day when i miss the strings i have tied here ,

i seek where was my home ,

the place i came from …

the place i lived …

the place i learnt from …

or the place that comforted me ….

home is where the heart is ,

home is where my longing is …

home is where ur arms are ….

home is in the embrace …

home is is my brother’s pranks …

home is in her lap …

home is this life which teaches me every waking second

and engulfs me in dreams …

every sleeping hour

MEASURING THE ROAD TO LEH

HOW TO PLAN A MOTORCYCLE TRIP TO LEH
                                                       -Ambika 
"There is no happiness for him who does not travel ... Therefore , wander !"
                                                                                     -Aitareya Brahmana, rig veda 
A journey onto the highest roads of the world , through the most rugged terrain , all in search of the most self challenging version of you , finding your soul through  the breathtaking and landscapes ... Welcome to leh ! And the adventure increases manifold if its a motorcycle trip . 
The best time to undertake the journey is from May to October .As for the budget , it would cost approximately between 30, 000 - 50,000 INR depending upon the accomadation one takes up. Since much of the trip cosists of daunting weather conditions , it is well advised to check upon one's physical fitness before undertaking the journey . Also one should be well equipped with a well equipped first aid kit and good quality woolens to keep you warm as most of the time you will be camping under the stars . It is also imperative to take a postpaid sim along with you as prepaid sims of other states donot work in Jammu and Kashmir . 
 At an altitude of about 13000 feet and above in the himalyas the distance that one can cover depends upon the roads and weather conditions and also the stops that one takes to halt en route . The best take would be to reach Delhi as the first stop and then to proceed towards Kullu either via a taxi or a bus as the flights can be pretty unpredictable due to bad weather conditions . from here the most advisable option is to take a taxi to Manali as that would be your next stop . From manali starts the motorcycle ride .
 After the enchanting climb of over 13,051 feet and 52 kms of lush green mountanious terrain  we arrive at the Rohtang Pass . After Rohtang one reaches the Chandra Valley and goes on to reach Tandi - the only place along the entire highway that has a petrol pump . Fill up your tanks and reserves in containers as well . The next stop where we halt is Jipsa which is 32 kms from Tandi thus ending the day's ride . 
From Jispa , next day we move on towards Sarchu, the next stop . The route comprises of small mountain lakes and breathtaking landscapes and also the second high altitude pass Barcha-la , the origin of the rivers Chandra , Bhagha and Yunam at 16,500 ft . Sarchu is a plain area and and snowbound for most of the year . in absense of any permanent buildings one can just well camp out in the open . 
From Sarchu onwards we enter the state of Jammu and Kashmir and here encounter the Gata Loops a succession of 21 hairpin bends . The other significant landscapes are those of Lachung La , Nakee La and leading towards the Changthang plateau . After a dirt and sand ridden track one reaches to the Tso Kar Lake , which is a freshwater and brackish lake and a refuge for both Indian and Tibetan nomads for winter months . This is the next halting stop for camping at the night . 
Day 5 begins with a ride from Tso Kar lake towards the Tso Moriri lake which is a distance of 60 kms . An extremely enchanting path that will take you to completely another world making you forget all the tiresome journey till now . The route has the magical three lakes , two high altitude passes Nalshang la and Pologonka la (16500 ft ) and a continuous stony track . so , just unwind , unfold your senses and click it up . a night of camping at the beautiful Tso Moriri lake  would just be the cherry on the cake ! 
Our last day ride upto Leh is a perfect lesson on how the nomadic tribes enroute have been living harmoniously with mother  nature . Especially the Changpa nomads are well known for the various innovative uses they make out of Yak products . the Yak wool tents in which they live , the yak milk tea are definitly some very amazing things that one gets to experience . The ride finally culminates onto Leh . This marks the end of the road trip . the various worth seeing sights around and in leh are Pangong Lake , Wari La , Nubra Valley , Khardung La . Worth mentioning is the heart thumping first view of the Pangong lake which appears suddenly as a cobalt blue meadow onto the rugged barren terrains of Leh .
 With the best of Leh etched onto your hearts take it all with you for a lifetime to come !
Wishing you a safe and happy journey ! 

HOME ENCOMPASSED

 






There was a time I believed in the existence of geographical boundaries , in the superiority of  a nation , in patriotism , in the phrase of "mera bharat mahan" . But then i reverted back to the sanskrit phrase "vasudhev kutumbakam". "the whole world is my home and now my definition of home has widened to encompass the entire universe . 

The universe ... the primordial om .. resides inside me , inside every one of us . from the high himalyas to the deep trenches , mankind leaves its footsteps on the face of the earth marking its journey from the little fumbling steps of the child to the faltering tongue of the old . and its the same everywhere . then how on earth can my love for mankind be restricted to a barbed fenced wired territory ? ? ? 
How can my duty to my home be limited to my country or my state for that matter ??? i am not saying you are wrong ... neither do i say that your definition is but what i ask is who sets the parameters of this definition ??? 

Your might mean your neighborhood or your city mine may have a wider definition ....  

                Home ....
                    from the house to the universe ,
                    from the neighborhood to the solar system ,
                    from the city to the earth ,
                    from the state to the continent ,
                    from the country to the sky , 
                    from the bonds of blood , to just someones heart ,
                    from comfort to outside the comfort zone ,
                    or may be ... well just may be ... 
                               INSIDE MY OWNSELF , LIES MY HOME ....



I carry my bags , my pen , my paper ...
i carry my shoes , my hat , my watch...
traversing the long unwinding paths ...
measuring the routes of skies ....
i hold your hand , walk besides you 
invisible to your eyes , still leaving footsteps on the sand ...

then where oh my friend , 
where is the home , 
in the arms of the one i love , 
in the pages of the book i read , 
in the little things he does for me ,
in the wide expanse of the sky that never leaves me uncovered , 
in the rain that washes away my tears , 
in the birds that bring the news of the distsnt land , 
in all my words that are like my child ....
or inside my heart and soul ...

WHERE O WHERE !!! LIES THIS PLACE CALLED HOME 
                                                  - ATHENA ( AMBIKA)