The Wrinkled True Love

To all the parents growing old and to the grandparents preparing to be born again. Coz well !  I believe in reincarnation.

“Let me take your wrinkled hands ,
To see the sands of time settled in those crevices,

Let me wipe the corner of your eyes ,
that ooze the light that has long shone over the horizon,

Let me tell you the end of every story you have ever told me
    “There is no better teacher than time
      And no better lesson than failure”

And also let me plead with my little hands ,
DON’T LET YOUR LESSONS BECOME MY COMMANDMENTS ”

©Athena

I Had 12 Days Of Freedom With No Internet Access At SSB Bhopal

I Had 12 Days Of Freedom With No Internet Access At SSB Bhopal
-Ambika Bhan (Athena)
To begin with a paradox, that I am posting this article on WordPress (internet) and that I work for a company that is based wholly on the viral content floating the internet. So while 19 Nov 2015 came as the most important day of my life I never knew that it would reveal to me this magical experience.
As I had it, the still calmness of the military cantt was the first thing that took me over at ssb Bhopal more than that it was the zero contact to the chaotic city that left me spellbound. Nostalgia engulfed me as remembered my childhood in open spaces of Himachal and the long playful jogs through those terrains and fields. We were asked to submit our phones which was enough of a heartbreak for everybody. My sneaking away and not submitting it was aptly punished by the God .
I broke my phone accidentally.
So that was the end of my dear Microsoft Lumia.
Anyways as the days of Psych test , GTO, Interview proceeded I started realizing the absolute increase in my levels of focus towards the tests, towards making relationships with the people around me, towards becoming everyone’s favorite, making them laugh till they rolled on the floor, taking care of them. I purposely decided not to call my parents for all those 5 days. And the sense of freedom that it brought to me … no unending , piling email, no whats app beeps, no Facebook notifications… everything was so liberating.
I didn’t need to go to Himalyas to get a feel of heaven , to take sanyas .. I had my nirvana right there. And for the first time in so many years I discovered BOREDOM. Yes ! That feeling we had in those lazy Sunday afternoons when we were kids , or that feeling when in dark wintry nights electricity went off and we had nothing to do than sitting around the fire watching the sparkles rising and dancing to the puffs that our mother blew over it. Yes that exact BOREDOM.
So we were there in the barracks , with “Nothing To Do” and yes no arm length crutches like mobiles that even didn’t let us remember the meaning of being bored. And then like I had always been .. I went up and picked up that basketball. Played in that court, getting my hands all dirty and clothes all sweaty , and in running like some 7 year old around without a care in the world . And that’s when I knew whats freedom.
I knew what’s freedom when I met my childhood version there.. dancing in madness in rooms, playing pranks on everyone. I got scolded from almost everyone at the centre from the GTO to the mess wale bhaiyya , the phone operator and the gatesman but I took home a crazy me, a reclaimed me and yes …
A YES FROM THE INDIAN ARMY SAYING … “YOU HAVE IT IN YOU”.
The day of the conference was one hell eventful. Recommended for the Indian Army I was and that meant another week or so of staying in the cantt for a detailed medical examination. On the coinsistent pleads of my parents to whom I broke the good news I bought a phone for 900 bucks, which I now lovingly call ‘my dbba phone’. It somehow did bring a smile to my face thinking that maybe I will land up in Officers Training Academy as it felt like an intuition to get rid of the habit of smartphones.
At the end of those 12 days here I am and I tell you I checked on to my Facebook and was overwhelmed with 250+ notifications, 60+ messages and 55+ friend requests. Partly due to this absence and partly of all the congratulatory messages that pored in. Here I am back in this maddenning crowd and I am hating every bit of it and so badly I wanna return to that aura again.
All I wanna say is Shut It Out Guys … Get Bored … Get Innovative … Get Healthy
p.s- Counting days to go to ssb Allahabad
P.p.s- I didn’t get my phone repaired and neither bought a new one
‪#‎IndiaArmy‬
‪#‎SSBBhopal‬
‪#‎Nostalgia‬

DILEMMA

Good morning.. People of the earth ....

No poetry no prose .... I am here with just a confession of a human who is not scared to be scared . Who finds it utterly difficult to claim with boastful confidence that ,"I ain't scared of anything". 

I have dilemmas , fears , incompetences ... We all have them . 
Isn't it like some points of time in our lives we feel too weak n timid . Its not about the fear of not being able to do things ... Its the confusion of not knowing in the first place about what you can and what you can't do .

You have lived in a comfortable cocoon of your own and though you so desperately want to shake off n break free from the trap .... A tiny lil part of you pulls you back ... Coaxing ...yes I think coaxing you into a thought that its all warm n safe here ... The outside world is bad and harsh and cruel and a lot of other creepy things that you have been told ....
That lil teeny weeny pricky thought tells you that you have lived 22 years of your life in a particular way ...u should be mad to even think that you can do things that are challenging , tough and far beyond your comfort zone ....
And amidst all your hi fi talks n preachings u look at this tiny thought ... That rascal gives you a devilish smile ... Knowing that he has got your nerve ....

And you land up in a dilemma ... A pool of weakness and under confidence ... Trying to justify it by your so called rationality and practicality ....

That you don't know whether you will be able to face challenges ... Be itphysicsl or mental ...
Wether you will be able to hold your head up high despite innumerable insults you would receive ...
Wether you will b able to put up courage despite being thrashed and beaten every time ...
Wether you will be able to hold back tears in the tough times of pain and suffering...
Wether you will emerge glorious...

Your mind says ...don't be stupid ...just let it go ....
But your wretched heart says ," how can you back off ...you hv just one life ...how cn u not test yourself... How can you let go of an experience no matter bad or good ... How can u spend the rest of your life in regret of not doing a thing just coz you were too scared to do it ".

And the saga continues n so does my dilemma
But somewhere I realise that its our own battle ...EACH ONE OF US ... N noone can help us but ourselves ....
I don't know the answer ....
But I think for now its best to just sit back n work n let the things unfold themselves ...

#Athena
#dilemma