A BOAT IN THE SEA

The end of another era . i m finally about to be a law graduate (well just about to ) and yet again i find myself in a sea . its always been the same . what entices me is never what i presently am in . this gripping growing sea around me is shrinking my boat a little more each day . somehow the indianness in my outlook has reduced . u know , that indian factor of going after a job that gives you prestige and no happiness . well , it has gone away for good .
well the status quo as of now is that i have qualified my written for the defence services and the bigger hurdle is the ssb . i am being warned against the perils of joining the army but thats ok ! they dont matter to me anymore , unless i am getting decently paid and sent to remote areas with lots of time to introspect , read , write and stay fit . moreover its just a matter of 10 years . well you say i spent 5 years slogging in the law school .
i have an ALMOST job waiting at an LPO . Again i dont mind till i get pid decently .

i am being expected to prepare for civil services … well i too want to do that , but somehow i know its just the chase of qualifying the exam that entices me and not the real job . well if money is all that i am looking for then not a bad option . right ?

now before you think i am a money minded bitch , let me just add on the detail that through all of these jobs all i seek is to travel , or may be just accumalate finances to be able to travel .

well then that puts me back to my boat . all i wanna do is travel and write . i might as well do it for myself . and yes the idea of working like a slave for filling someone’s coffers is enough to enrage me .

the only part where i am not gonna compromise is LIVING THE LIFE MY WAY

– ambika (athena)

p.s- i am letting the winds determine the course for the time being . till then … lemme just blog :0

THE LUCKY BASTARD

THE LUCKY BASTARD
© ATHENA
LUCKY BASTARD
Its a small world out there,
A small world just tangled in million threads ,
The threads of destiny , of ego , of hatred , of mere oblivion ...
And we the various knots in the threads ...
As we walk upon the face of the earth,
We entangle ourselves more and more ...
Entangled in notions preconceived,
Entangled in responsibilities we heed,
Entangled in our Instincts of mere lust and attraction ,
Entangled in chase of desperation ,
They say detachment gives happiness ,
They say desires breed all pain ,
But doesn't a corpse lie there fully detached ...
Devoid of pain , devoid of pleasure ...
Devoid of desire , devoid of treasure...
Let there be freedom in these knots ,
Let there be attachment to souls ,
Let there be detachment from the anger , hatred and ego that the world throws at you ,
Let there be freedom ...
To follow ur dreams ,
To just act in the spur of the moment ,
To write a letter to a person unknown ,
To forget the notions of shallow morality ,
To embrace the sense of spirituality,
To get a poem from someone ,
To completely lose oneself for a second ,
To feel as if the world has stopped ..
To let there be two smiles while the two people depart ...
To may be ...
Just may be ...
Be that lucky bastard !
 © Athena
1:02 am (6-06-2015)

ANOTHER "SEE YOU AGAIN"

     
         ANOTHER "SEE YOU AGAIN"
                                   
                        - ATHENA
I will have to begin this adventure, this dream,  from its end because as they say 'ends are new beginnings'. an afternoon which was an afternoon since the morning itself , where each second that ticked away was a reminiscent of the hours spent together and an ultimatum of the little time left . 
  And what made the afternoon worse was the distance , albeit a short one . a distance that she knew very well , could be  covered ... could be shortened ... could be vanished . 

and the volcano inside her needed just a flicker , just a syllable of his voice to seep , no , not seep ...to flow ... to rain through her cheeks . to rain through her heart , her soul .

"I am coming !" , she exclaimed 
" honey its too hot outside , and i cant meet for more than 5 minutes , and it would take you 1 hour to reach here " , came the voice .
"screw it all , no matter what i am coming !", she said with a conviction unshakable .

zip , zap , zoom and she was out on the road , trying to find something for him ... something that could symbolise and embody her prayers , her blessings for him , to keep him safe . 

and inside the crowded train somehow she squeezed herself to find a seat , took out a pen and could find no paper so just scribbled onto an old advertising paper and wrote a poem for him ... a last message before they could again hold each other after another 6 months . 

a halt onto a midway station and off she ran to luckily find a small portrait of lord krishna and what else did she need ... other than the lord himself , the soulmate of radha ... to pray for her love , to bless him , to keep him safe ffrom all that was about to happen . to keep her love safe .

and after 1.5 hours she got his glimpse. those impatient eyes , as if seeking what she had got for him kept on asking so many questions .
"you looking so fair , so much more cuter "
 "what have you got? " , he had asked 
"nothingggggg , stop snatching my bag , u shouldn't check a girl's bag ", she said while trying to stop him .
they hugged , held hands, and just tried to capture , to hold every single second that could make them feel alive by the touch of each other's skin ... and the soft texture of the skin ... it just seemed to traverse through her veins , into her blood and deep through her heart and into her soul ... and no matter how much she stopped those stupid drops from falling they just .. oh ! when have they ever listened to her ? they just fell . a lil here , a lil there . 

And after those few minutes , it was THE TIME ... the time to leave !

"may i go ? ", she said 
and those few seconds , she could never explain into a million words . His eyes ... !!!!

Eyes are strange things . 
a pair of eyes that were too common to belong to anyone special 
a pair of eyes that you could just mistake as belonging to everyone , 
and yet ! yet those pair of eyes were now her world ...
her reflection , her living embodiment of the love that she felt for her ,
those eyes that were her life , that just had a light ...
a light that could brighten her darkest nights , 
those eyes that were more royal to her than to him , 
that defied him and obeyed her , 
talking to her , revealing his moods , revealing every secret he wanted to hold back , 
moistening every land that he wanted to leave barren ....

His voice that said ," ok , please take care love ."
but eyes that pleaded ," dont go ! stay back ! and hands that just twitched in her palms ... hands that held her . 

i love you baby ! 
i love you too ! 
" promise me that you will write . that you will take care of yourself , u have my heart , take care of it and bring it back safely to me . ", she whispered . 


teary eyes , putting up a smile , pursing lips together , and a heavy breath she turned around 
and he stayed ... stayed... opened up that lil letter , that lil parcel .

she kept on looking back ... she kept on looking at her life ... her heart which belonged to him , only him !!!!

AND BEGINNING OF ANOTHER WAIT !!!

" AANKHON MEIN NMI , HASI LABON PE ...
   KYA HAAL HAI KYA DIKHA RHE HO " .... 

TREASURES THAT CAN'T BE STOLEN

TREASURES THAT CAN'T BE STOLEN
© Athena
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1517494311834425&amp%3Brefid=17
 Disclaimer - this is a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any reality whatsoever.
 The rays of the sun unleash their fury on her body ,
 Yet nothing melts this cold heart ,
 For so long was he gone n with such boldness,
 That she has begun to question her mortal existence
 She has started mistaken every passer by as him ,
 Not sure whether every stranger resembles him,
 Or has he become a stranger ....
 Such is the silence in the air ,
 That all she hears is a devil trying to break her heart's ice ,
 And mercilessly he strikes with an axe ,
 And the couple of blows ...those thuds ,
 Break her heart a little more ...
 Such is the irony of time that it plays a game of barter ,
 It takes away the warmth and yet burns her soul,
 It takes away the love yet leaves the magic ,
 IT TAKES AWAY YOUR LIFE AND STILL ASKS YOU TO LIVE ...
 Such is the brunt of justice ,
 That her rights over him are snatched ,
 He is no longer hers ,
 And don't think she was wronged or betrayed ,
 Oh no , never ...
 He just took away all that which belonged to him ,
 Rightfully so ... Just and fair !
 But there's something that no one can take away from her ,
 Neither the time , this universe , gods and definitely not him ...
 Its those beautiful bundles of memories,
 Memories...
 Of his stories ,
 Of his sleepless nights,
 Of his restless heart,
 Of his first talk ,
 Of his nervousness of the first meeting,
 Of his hug n the warmth that used to melt her heart ,
 Of his constantly looking at her ,
 Of his smiling and asking her "y don't u look at me"
 Of the rashes on his palm , made by his harsh work,
 Of the flat nails on his fingers,
 Of the game that made them stare into each others eyes for so long ,
 Of the first bite of food that he fed her ,
 Of the astonished feelings on his face as he saw the first gift she had made ,
 Of the kiss with eyes open ,
 Of the magic that followed,
 Of the sensation that scared them both ,
 Of his wide smile that reveal his shining teeth ,
 Of the pain that he hid beneath ,
 Of his tears that drenched her robe whilst he lay on her lap ,
 Of the knees that ached for so long ,
 Of his reluctance to let go of her ,
 Of him subconsciously moving his toes while half asleep ,
 Of the silent kiss on his forehead,
 Of her sitting on his lap
 Of the swing that followed ,
 Of the cap that he put on her head ,
 Of the smiles that spread,
 And where do I stop there are a million things
 THE BEST BEING THE SMILE THAT ACCOMPANY HER TEARS
 EVERY NIGHT AS SHE THINKS
 AS SHE ASKS GOD FOR HIS BLESSINGS . . .
 FOR HIM
‪#‎Athena‬
‪#‎am_mu‬

MISCONCEIVED FEMINISM

THE TRAP ... THE SHAM FEMINISM
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1517494311834425
© ATHENA Coelho
 Woman - the weaker sex , the fair sex , the epitome of sacrifice , the ideal of surrender , the reservoir of love and care .
 How beautiful these words seem .? And yet how miserably we fail to gauge the latent meanings that these phrases carry .
 -"Would you plz cook the with dinner beti??"
 - "hey sister , would u please iron my shirt ?
 - "oh beti , y don't u study furthur till u get married ? As it is y do u hv to work ? We will find a rich guy for u.
 - sweetheart , plz leave ur job so that we can be together "
 - honey , I love u so much that's why I hate it when u talk to other guys .
 - oh please baby , just wear salwaar suit n saree in front of my parents "
 - mom , why cant you just cook like the neighbourhood aunty ?? "
 And the list goes on ...
 I am a feminist , albeit a proud one but I fail to understand how foolish can a woman be . How easily could you be tricked to believe that you have equality ?
 I have been having a lot of debates with few friends who think that deepika padukone's viral video propagates feminism . Don't mean to get personal but here's my take .
 - The biggest paradox that we live in , especially in our country is to believe in the uniformity of PEOPLE .
 India and Bharat ... These are two different nations on the same land . While we are fools to believe that only 4 metros n a bunch of uber urban cities is wt constitutes the population , let me tell u ...
 This minuscule amount of population doesn't evn vote properly .
 This population represents Indi , not Bharat .
 This population has the CULTURAL CAPITAL to make a voice heard .
 AND FEMINISM IS NOT N SHOULD NEVER BE THE MONOPOLY OF THIS POPULATION. .
 My opposition isn't about deepika padukone . ITS HER CHOICE .My opposition Is for the fact that people want to associate it with feminism .
 U talk of feminism ...
 Talk about it when the subtle fangs of patriarchy bite u n u don't even realise that .
 Talk about feminism ...
 -When ur parents tell you to pursue IAS ovr IPS because its a tough Job .
 - when ur brother asks u y r u so late , evn if he may never answer that question for you
 - when ur boyfriend is possesive and u succumb to it just giving it the name of love .
 - talk about feminism when a girl leaves her career for her would be husband just in order to satisfy his BLOODY FRUSTRATED MALE EGO .
 - talk about feminism when a girl stops talking n spending time with guys just cz her boyfriend hates it .
 - talk about feminism where in a village a girl does all the household chores while his brother roams on a bike the whole day .
 - talk about feminism when ur mother comes back from office n still cooks for ur father while ur father relaxes...
 - when domestic violence, bride burnings , dowry deaths , rapes happen
 AND FOR GOD SAKE OPEN UR EYES N DONT DEFEND ALL OF THESE WITH A STATEMENT
 "I love my man/husband/family . I respect them and I can do anything for them "
 Dont say
 "love is sacrifice . It is surrender
 BS EK AURAT NE PYAAR KA THEKA NHI LEKE RKHA HAI
 TALK ABOUT FEMINISM WHEN UR BOYFRIEND TELLS U THAT HE WILL PROTECT U ... CZ U WILL NOT EVEN REALISE WHEN THE PROTECTOR BECOMES A PERPETRATOR.
 AND WHEN ALL THE MEN IN UR LIFE are ready to do the same things for u ...
 - when ur dad cooks food everyday in the evnin
 - when ur brother washes utensils ( p.s- mine does.. I make him do it)
 - when ur boyfriend leaves ur job to move with u .
 THAT DAY MY SISTERS STOP TALKING ABOUT FEMINISM .
 Showing off a bra strap , or walking around with a blood stained skirt or having sex outside marriage IS NOT FEMINISM ...
 In this world of beasts
 A simple life of dignity ,, no rapes , no domestic violence , a mind that is enlightened , a pair of hands that are skilled , friends and family that genuinely love and respect AND PUSH U HIGHER , a beautiful smile on ur face , strength in ur actions character and thoughts , ur own house and a fairly well bank balance ...
 THIS IS FEMINISM .

dreamer

I am not a slave . I will never be .
 I am a dreamer n it takes guts to dream.

 we can excel only when we do something purely because we love to do it, and not when we mix any other reasons in it. If we bring in other reasons, then slowly the pure love gets diluted and so does the quality of our effort and output.

 I am preparing for an exam ... No ... I am just studying...cz I love to study n learn without examinations . I will keep on doing it till my death bed .

 I am writing coz I love writing ... I will never betray my words or the pure love I have for them . I will never write for money .it may come as a collateral but I won't change my writing for business.

Religion is a product of ego....
spirituality is a product of awareness....


WISH WE HAD NOT TURNED THIS GREAT MAN INTO A GOD ....


Budhham sharnam gachami